First website, first sex blog, first post.
I was going to have the first post be about what findom is, but financial domination is almost self explanatory. It's exactly what it says on the tin. You are being dominated financially by a woman who is either draining your bank account or otherwise taking control of your finances in some way. I mean, that's a bit watered down, but there you have it. I'd rather write about why I am a findomme and what got Me here and since this is an introductory post of sorts, I'm sorry if it runs a bit long.
When I first started out on Niteflirt I wasn't a Domme at all. My whole life I've always been a sub. I was very vehement about that fact as well and took a snobbish pride in it. The mere thought of dominating someone would almost turn My stomach and I wouldn't date switches, or at least I wouldn't switch with them.
Then I started doing phone sex on Niteflirt. I made a submissive woman listing and things were ok for a while but the wording of the listing was a little off. There was a bit in there about 'switching it up' and 'talking you through JOI'. It wasn't meant to come off as dominating at all, but submissive men latched onto it. I kept getting call after call asking to dominate them and a very exasperated Abbie had to keep telling them it was a submissive only line. I was the submissive, couldn't they see that?
Then I realized I was basically throwing away money, which is stupid. I should at least try it out just once. Just because I did it on the phone with callers didn't mean that I had to start cracking a whip in the bedroom. My first domination call was a sissy and I was super nervous. I didn't know what I was doing at all, but I had years of experience as a submissive on My side. So I just took a breath and pretended I was on the other line with Myself. It's not like I never fantasized about being dominated and only waited on other people to enact their fantasies upon Me. I asked My caller about their limits and pretended they were My own, then thought, what would I do to Myself if I was having a sexual fantasy with these limits.
At the end of the call I told them that this was My first time. They replied that I did amazing and they couldn't even tell. After the call I was completely in Domme space. That exhilarating head space you get from exerting your control over someone else. All I could do for the next couple of minutes was sit against My wall and smile while breathing heavy. Within that moment I thought how dumb I was to turn up My nose at switching all those years and put Myself in such a little box. In the next couple of days I had taken more submissive callers and made yet another listing, this time for a femdom.
After a while of doing this and getting the hang of it, I learned about ignore calls. Another case of exactly what it says on the tin. Obviously different people are going to operate their ignore line in different ways, but the gist of it is you call the phone and the other person ignores you while your account dwindles. All you are is a fly on the wall. Amazing stuff, isn't it?
I didn't get it, it boggled My mind. Then to learn that ignore calls were also a part of findom. What the hell was that? There was the dom part, so I automatically assumed it meant domination, but fin? So I figured that ignoring people was easy if they happened to call that line but in the meantime I tried researching as much as I could on findom and what it was. I found a bunch of articles of providers talking about how their finsubs could only subsist on ramen and hot dogs from 7-11 month after month, or how they were in so much financial debt from taking out loans. In the meantime I kept getting calls from subs that wanted a super cruel, mean mistress and were pushing their views on how a Domme should be on Me. I started to question if any of this was really for Me despite how good it felt to dominate people, and I couldn't lay to rest My unease about findom enough to start doing it.
Then I followed two really amazing, and just awe inspiring, dominatrixes on twitter which led to Me following more and more femdom and findoms. I talked with some and befriended some and realized how much variety there could be within those fetishes. I did not have to conform to findom and femdom, I could make it conform to Me. This made me feel comfortable enough to advertise My new services more and take on more callers and clients. I played raise the rate games and wallet draining games and was surprised at how much I got off on it. I also stood up for My style of dominating and told those subs that didn't like My playful and bratty nature to either find another Domme or shut up and do as I told.
In essence, to Me findom is just the natural progression of femdom for a sex worker. All My femdom relationships, unless they are a personal relationship, will always be tilted towards a financially dominant one since you have to pay for them. I love being in control and bringing My subs to their knees. In our society whoever holds the money, holds the power and generally that has always been men. What better way to metaphorically grab someone by the balls than to grab them by the wallet. It is the ultimate power trip, the ultimate mind fuck especially when a submissive knows they could just walk away at any time and deny you, go find a different mistress or live a vanilla life.....but for some reason they just fucking can't. They know you have them fully and completely under your spell.
It's not just about the money. And this is why I love findom.
Besides, your money looks so much better in My hands anyway.