The second and final part on how to not get scammed when looking for the financial dominatrix of your dreams. As promised, this one's for the subs. As much as I see my fellow Domme's calling out time wasters, I also see fake "Dommes" get called out by the poor subs they scammed. Here's some tips:
Masturbate first - Wait, what? Yeah, you heard me! Or at the very least stop thinking with your dick. You don't go to the grocery store hungry, everyone knows that. Likewise you shouldn't look for a Domme when you are so hard up you can't think straight. Look. I get it. We are mysterious, amazing, and alluring among other things. You are either deep into your fin-fetish or curious about it and everything is exciting. Slow your roll though because you have homework to do.
Research your Domme - You found a Findomme you think is amazing and you want to send an initial tribute in order to access her direct messages or e mails. Very nice. Before you hit send on that cash app, go plug her name into the search bar of the social media you're using. What comes up? Are there call out posts revealing she is a scammer? On to the next person then. If not, then look at her pictures she has up. Some fake Dommes are actually subs, or just not who they say they are, and have stolen photos. Put her picture into tinyeye or a reverse search engine that is similar. This will at least tell you if the picture is an original one or stolen from someone else who is either not a sex worker, or is but isn't the same person.
Contradicting hashtags - What hashtags is she using? Do any of them say 'sugarbaby' or 'sugardaddywanted'? Something like that? Specifically is she mixing them with the findom hashtags in the same tweet? Then she's probably not a findom. Or she's very new and doesn't know what she's doing either way. Look, new findoms sometimes make the same mistakes that fakes do when they're just starting out. It happens, I did some of the same things while I was still learning and sometimes, I still flub up. We are human after all. Amazing, sexy, powerful humans but humans all the same. A sugar baby is not the same thing as a findom. Sugar babies are pretty much exclusive arm candy and 'girlfriends' of their daddies in exchange for money or 'allowance'. Obviously everyone works differently, but that's pretty much what it is. A findom largely does not have sex with her slave. Not 'daddy', slave. Subs or slaves are not alphas, they are not daddies. They are below their Domme in the relationship and the giving of money is a submissive and humiliating act. We control you and your money, not the other way around.
Desperate times call for desperate tweets - What do the majority of their tweets look like? Is every single tweet basically the same thing with them constantly shouting into the void 'Pay me piggy!', 'where are all my piggies at?!', 'I need a paypig to give me their money now!' Are they constantly retweeting time wasters who claim they have so much money to give if you RT and like their tweets? Now go to their replies section of their tweets. Are all their replies to any and all subs, even ones that are owned by other Dommes (sometimes even other Dommes), consisting of basically three words 'DM me now'? You probably have a fake Domme on your hands.
Verifications are your friends - A verification post is a tweet of a picture where the Domme is holding a piece of time stamped paper with their twitter handle on it to prove they are who they say they are. It can also be a short clip of them telling you their twitter handle. If they don't have a verification post, don't fret or scream fake just yet. Are there links to other websites they are from, specifically clip sites or a phone sex site? This is just as good as a verification post, honestly it's better. I am on multiple clip sites and on the linked phone sex site. In order to work and get money from these sites I have to submit so much information including a picture of my ID and a picture of myself holding my ID next to my face. There are also sites that serve the same purpose as this such as Findoms where a Domme has to get on visual chat with an admin of the site to verify themselves. If they have none of these things, you could always ask for a verification post.
Pushy and forceful - I'm a bit of a brat, hence my princess title. Always been a bit of a pushy brat, always will be. When a prospective sub/client who has tributed shows up in my inboxes that definitely gets pushed to the wayside. I like knowing what you're all about. What type of session are you looking for? What type of Domme do you think you're getting (as my style is wildly different from another's style)? What are your limits and, if it applies, safe words? These are all things you absolutely should discuss with someone before any type of session begins. What I don't do is demand all your money right then and there and try to force you into rinse sessions you may not want, or push any of my personal fetishes onto you. No Domme worth their salt should ever be pushing you towards ownership right away, that's something that should take a lot of discussion and consideration. If they do this they're either a fake, or just shitty. A good Domme is going to be respectful of your limits, especially the hard ones you just won't budge on.
Well we have come to the end of my advice, hopefully you heed my warnings and this helps you out. With the right Domme this fetish can be immensely fulfilling and fun. Just calm down at first, do your research, tribute and have a little chat with the Domme you picked, then take that plunge. The water is warm and it feels so good.
If any of you follow my twitter account (@noodayabbie) you will have noticed that I was picked by a writer for MEL magazine, along with a few other Dom/mes, to be interviewed on fake instadommes. I really like how the article was put together and it is very worth a read: The Curse Of The Fake Financial Dominatrix.