This is going to be a two part post on how to fiscally navigate the warm waters of sins of the flesh, a.k.a. tips for not getting scammed by both time wasters and instadommes.
This first part will be dedicated to the Dommes, since in all things we come first...or at all.
Be wary of helpers - The thing that I really appreciate about the sex worker community is the free advertisement on social media, specifically twitter, that you can find. Well 'free' if you don't count your own creativity and mental labor in creating your advertising tweets. There are tons of retweet groups, retweet accounts, and hashtags that link to those accounts you can utilize to make sure your tweet is seen by more people. However, no promotional account needs tons of free pictures from you, or free pictures at all, or even videos. Your social media probably has teaser pics already. Ask yourself, why do they need more content? Specifically more explicit content then the stuff you already have out there for people to RT and tag you with? Obvious answer is obvious. It's because they're just looking for wank material. I'm not ashamed to say that I fell for this quite a bit when I first started out. It happens. I would take pics specifically for promoters and never see them promoted or used, and I would get absolute silence when I questioned them about it. The same goes for RT accounts that offer their services for free sessions. That's absolutely nuts. I'm mainly an online Domme with the exception of subs who have proven themselves trustworthy and are loyal enough to earn real time with me. My online sessions are in half hour increments and start at around $50/half hour. Promo/RT accounts are a literal dime a dozen. What you are saying is that your promo account is so damn much better than all other's that me missing out on $50-$120 dollars, depending on the session time, is somehow going to be worth it and net me that much or more for future sessions with future clients? In essence this is almost like I'm paying you for a simple retweet I can find elsewhere for free. And that's usually all it is, a retweet. No account or so called "RT sub" who won't just simply RT your shit is worth missing out on that money.
They'll gladly pay you Friday, for a hamburger today- "I don't have money right now, but I get paid Friday." "I don't want to pay you money unless I know that we mesh well as a D/s." Every Domme I follow or talk to has heard so many iterations of this phrase, myself included. Long story short, Friday never comes my dears. This is a pay to play business. Time wasters will try to milk every last ounce of unearned attention out of you and then vanish when it's time to pay up. I used to let people get about five interactions or replies before asking for tribute. My thought process was it gives them a little bit of time to get to know me before deciding if they want to continue. For some Dommes and sex workers this may work and more power to you if it does. To me it's bullshit. Tribute first to talk, always. All money up front before sessions begin or service is rendered. Always. Tributing shows respect for your time. Talking with people takes time away from other things. My time is money, point blank. I have multiple social media accounts, I tweet things other than what I'm selling, and I interact with people on twitter. Not to mention that my 'persona' is not really a persona. I can put one on for the purposes of roleplay, but what you see is what you get. I'm bratty, nerdy, cute, sweet, and cruel. If you really want to get to know who I am, then you can read. If you want an interactive conversation with me you need to pay by either tribute or by calling me on my lines on Niteflirt.
Wait for payment- Speaking of tributes, gifts, and payments. You found a lonely sub waiting for you in your DM's who wants a session. They said they sent you the money for a session plus extra. Maybe they even bought you something off of your Amazon wish list. That's so sweet of them. But did you get it yet? Are you holding the gift in your hand? Is the money safe in your account? No? Oh well, wait for the payment first. If they really want a session with you, they'll understand they have to wait. Especially if they're a community sub or have had sessions before. Gifts and payments can be canceled before they get to you leaving you with an empty sack and them.....with an empty sack. And if you're using Paypal and get back charged you will also be charged extra by Paypal itself. I have accepted Amazon gift cards in the past for sessions, but I've had to wait almost an hour and a half before for the card to reach my mailbox so I can put in the code. Even Amazon themselves have said that it can take up to a day on rare occasions for a gift card to reach the intended person. Sessions are exciting. I love doing this and the bond with my subs and how I make them feel. But this is first and foremost a professional relationship and you need to wait.
Verify yourself.....again...and again....- There is a time waster red flag that I just don't quite understand. Asking for excessive amounts of verification and making you jump through hoops to prove you are who you say you are. I guess it's the attention. If you are asked for verification all you should be able to do is point them, or link them, to your verification tweet that should hopefully be pinned or easily accessible. A verification tweet is either a picture of you holding your twitter name written down and time stamped, or a short clip of you saying your name and verifying that is indeed your twitter account. I am particularly fond of the clip verification method because I know that some fake Dommes will steal photos. I understand some subs, especially newbies or people that have been burnt before, will be a little nervous. There's only so many verification posts you can and should make though. After a while there's no point. It's just a waste of time. If you have two or three posts up and they're still too worried, then it's best to move on because they're probably not going to actually pay you.
Mr.Fake Moneybags- An attention seeking tactic and wank material tactic. This account poses as a sub or sugar daddy who has soo much money to give. Hundreds of dollars. Sometimes thousands of dollars. And he loves the Domme or sex worker community so much he's going to split it up between five or more of you. All you have to do is fight for his attentio- ummm, I mean retweet and like his status. Probably slide into his DM's with a picture or two. Validate his existence. You know, the usual desperate stuff Dommes usually do with a sub, right? I have seen so many of these types of accounts get RT'ed and find their way into my timeline. I go to check the comments and boom. Fellow workers calling out the fact that you will never get paid because they are a known time waster. Some even have receipts. I have seen very few sub owned accounts that will follow through. Don't give them attention.
Pick me! Pick me!- Speaking of attention seekers who need to have their lives validated. Subs begging online for a Domme. Either they are very new, or they are very good at getting free attention. Subs seek us out, but not like this. Once again I have checked comments on these people before and usually there are others with proof of time wasting. It is so easy to find a Domme, especially on twitter, or even switter where there are tons of sex workers. Why would you want a sub who can' t even put in the effort to do their homework and seek a sex worker out?
Look them up or ask around- There are blacklist accounts and time waster accounts on twitter you can join. Just prove you are a sex worker or Domme and they'll allow you to follow. There is the same on tumblr, and probably other social medias I'm not on as well. Even if you're not following these accounts, go to the search bar and look up your potential subs name. What comes up? Nothing? Maybe you're in the clear or they're new. If they're a time waster however, someone has probably tweeted about them and tagged them in the tweet after blocking. It never hurts to look. You can also ask them if they've ever worked with another Domme or sex worker before. All my applications have a spot for references in case they have them. I've even had an online acquaintance hit me up to see if someone was trust worthy and paid me when they said they would. A word of warning though. Some personalities clash and oddly enough, one person's time waster is another's cash cow. But use your brain and the search bar wisely. Especially if the person has screen shots and proof.
Do you have any other tips against time wasters I haven't included? Leave them in the comments below! And as always, be careful out there!